"Stop stealing my thunder, motherfu*kers!"

This week's Entertainment Weekly has the REAL dish on Jennifer Aniston...all in context. Let's just say she's over it. It was recently reported that she went out with John Mayer, and she didn't drink any booze over dinner. Oh. You know what that means..Pregnant with twins!

"Oh my God, it's hysterical!" Aniston says. "You can't do anything without it going to some extreme. It's almost going to take away the fun from actually being able to say one day, 'I'm pregnant!' Everyone will be like, 'Yeah, right.' It's the boy who cried wolf. Stop stealing my thunder, motherf---ers!"

Jennifer can't believe people actually care about her drama. Last month, Vogue claimed that Jennifer called Angelina Jolie "uncool." She says the comment was taken out of context, and she's amazed people even care about that stuff while we're going through big political changes. "Election night was just so moving, so unbelievable," says Aniston. "And now what do people do? Read my crap! Everything comes to a halt: 'What did she say?' Good God. You have to laugh at it all at the end of the day."

"I was just surprised that Vogue would go so tabloid," Jennifer said. "I was bummed. But you almost expect it. Big Deal. Done. Next."

On approaching 40: "I don't know if I'm just a late bloomer, but I feel like everything is just beginning."

On her new film Marley and Me: "What was interesting was the story of these two people, how it doesn't always look so pretty," she says. "You have your ideas and your dreams when you start out and you're sort of wide-eyed and bushy-tailed as a young married couple. Then life unfolds and it doesn't always take you in the directions you hope that it will."

On Brad Pitt's new film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: "I want Button to do great. I've seen about an hour of it. It's amazing. Amazing." Brad agrees. He told Larry King, "this film just makes me want to hug my kids and call my folks. And it's really special. And I'm not a salesman. I find this one quite authentic and something really special." Button releases the same day as Marley and Me.

Bottom line, Jen is done being the victim. "It's my history," she says. "It's my memory. That's all it is to me: something that happened, something that was really quite poignant and good in the long run."

EW.com