Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Nicole Richie is a basket case



Nicole Richie's daddy Lionel says the stress of his daughter's career is most likely the reason for her cadaverous figure.

"I know what's happening with her right now, she's a nervous wreck," Richie said. "She's like her father, you can either blow up or you can shrink away. And right now, she's just feeling a little bit of the pressures of her new business. So in this case ... she will be all right."

"Dad is on the case," Lionel said.

5 comments:

shrimpfriedrice said...

Don't ya mean, Nicole Richie fits in a basket?

Gabs said...

HA! no kidding shrimpy!

Marcia said...

The stress of her career? What career?

Oh yeah, having a crappy ghostwriter and partying a lot is REALLY HARD. You should see how I'M wasting away.

markus said...

yeah, real stressful... shopping and going out to lunch.

Anonymous said...

Nicole,

I know you've been avoiding me lately, but I think that if we talk everything over, we can come to a reasonable conclusion on all this.

We both know that you've been looking a bit on the emaciated side lately. No, no... hear me out. I didn't say that you look anorexic. It's just... well... you're starting to kind of... umm... Nicole, you look like me. There. I said it.

This is bad for business. I mean, seriously. Sometimes, when I show up at a children's hospital or something, some of the kids scream (or barely whisper between hits on the old respirator) "Hey, look momma, it's Nicole Richie in an ill-fitting black robe," or "Nicole Richie, why are you covering my face with a pillow?"

Do you know how distracting it is when I on unannounced house visits and I have paparazzi screaming "Nicole Richie, gimme one for the camera"? I had an elderly woman with a walker elude me yesterday because some jerk-off harrassed me for twelve blocks. Twelve frickin blocks!

Nicole, please consider gaining some wieght, or at least put on some makeup to cover your greyish skin. you're looking a lot like death, and it's really bad for business.