The parody is OVER

Nick and Jessica have finally stopped pushing their own bruises and called it quits. Why did they drag it out so long?

"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways," the statement says. "This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other. We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time." Blah, blah.....