Braff just wants his cereal

Zach Braff says that all the rumors floating around about him clubbing and hitting on Jessica Simpson were all made up by the tabs.

He said on Letterman, "I've been learning a lot about myself from reading about all the stuff I've been up to, not based on any form of truth. I lead a pretty boring life - I sit at home, I'm on the Internet, I eat cereal - that's a typical night for me. I read online about all the places I've been out partying and all the women I've been out partying with. I'm like, 'Wow, I should probably go to that place. It sounds like a fun. It sounds like I had a good time there.' I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading."

"Here's how the whole thing works. I actually decided, 'Maybe I'll go out. It's the summertime, I'm off from Scrubs.' So I go out a little bit and they write all about me being this crazy party guy, like I'm Paris Hilton or something." What?

"I'm like the male Paris Hilton. So then I'm like, 'I don't like that. I don't like being in the tabloids, so I'm just going to stay home. I'm going to be a homebody, I'm going to write. A week later a tabloid comes out with - 'Zach Braff Will Not Leave His Home!' You can't win! I just gave up on it." Where is he reading this stuff?